Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Mom Shaming is a Real Thing, Y'all.

I forgot the regiment in Baby Wise as quickly as I read it in those last few months. And now without the time to reread it, I guess I will just remain blissfully Baby Dumb.  I don’t have it together and I am all too aware of this during the moment that I am reheating my cup of coffee for the third time in the microwave and wiping of two-day-old mascara with a paper towel.  Oh well.

I know I shouldn’t live in yoga pants and everything we own is covered in a not-so-thin layer of spit up (according to our Pedi our little one is a “happy” spit upper but it doesn’t feel so happy on the fifth load of laundry). Every. Single. Person asks, “Does she sleep through the night yet?!” At first I would reply with an air of shame, “Well, most nights she sleeps about five-six hours and then is up to eat every two hours after that until she is up for the day.” Around the word “five” their looks of excitement turn to one of a semi-judgmental “bless your heart” stare.  Now a simple “yes!” clouded with an internal feeling of failure does the trick.

When did we all forget that they are just babies? Why do they have to be the “best” baby and what does that even mean?

The Pinterest monster, while very informative and entertaining, makes me feel like I should be in stylish garb with braided hair all day. And when my husband gets home I should be just completing baby girl’s latest perfectly sewn outfit with a casserole and dessert in the oven. Today I wiped our kitchen counters, started a load of laundry (crap, I may have to rewash it now…) and kept a baby and two dogs alive, right on!

I don’t know how the day goes by so fast and how I can’t manage to find time for a shower but it does, it simply does.  When a “friend” comments on how tired my baby girl looks in a Facebook video, how do I put it nicely that we are battling a nasty nap regression?

As moms, why are we judging? We have all been there. Our sleepy eyes and love for baby smiles band us together but why are we always so quick to tear each other apart? If anything, we should build each other up to face a world that digitizes our baby’s time and discounts our labor of love.

Formula vs. breast milk, cribs vs. cosleeping, naps in a swing, a perfect schedule, who cares? Get that baby fed, well rested despite a regression, comfortable and safe. Simply forget the rest.

Decide today to put judgment aside and love that precious little baby and the mom who is doing the best she can and giving all that she has to give.

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